I wish I was confident, I wish I felt cute taking pictures of myself, and I wish I could go out and have fun instead of constantly fearing what other people are thinking me. I wish I could make friends with other girls where we raise each other’s confidence. I see these groups of girls around me having fun, laughing, planning girls nights, and supporting each other and I wish I could have something like that but I can only blame myself because I don’t allow anyone in. I shut everyone out automatically, afraid of what they’ll think of me and if they like me or not.
But I’m working on it. I want to be able to laugh so hard that I’m almost pissing my pants, I want unforgettable nights where I can forget all of my worries, and I just want to have fun. This is going to be a tough journey but I’m willing to try. No more of the constant worrying and the inner thoughts that constantly put me down. I want to live.